Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize