Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
