There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize