So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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