saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
