Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I want to make a zoo with you.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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