it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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