well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
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CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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