i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
