fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
