Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize