Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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