are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
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What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
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A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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