We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
where does the pee come out of this thing
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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