I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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