There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
