don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize