Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
