He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
id be glad to
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
