Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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