Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
