My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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