Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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