Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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