Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize