Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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