I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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