So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
