your thong is hanging out like whoa
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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