Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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