So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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