I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
