If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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