the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
