Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
