they need to just BURY HIM!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
