is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
