He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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