I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
