My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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