I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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