put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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