shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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