i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
