This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize