Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
