hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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