you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
