Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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