I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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