i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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