How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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