Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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