She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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