i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
