So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize