It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I need to stop coming to work sober
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
