so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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