Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
