i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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