I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
