He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
