i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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